Muggs' NaNoWriMo novella.

3.

Kat lay on a couch in Gary’s study. She’d been laying there alone in the darkness for what seemed like hours. What the hell had she been thinking? Didn’t she love Charlie? Why couldn’t she be more stable like Kim? Kim and Doug had a perfectly happy relationship that didn’t need stupid drama to keep it going. They were in love, and Kat envied that.

A few more minutes passed as she lay there. She noticed the first glow of morning through the window, and thought maybe she should get up and go find him. Maybe if she apologized and groveled, he’d take her back. Then she’d stop with the open relationship nonsense, and try to be more like Kim.

“Oh, who are you kidding,” she said to herself in the gloom, “there’s no way he’s going to take you back, the way you treated him.”

Her voice echoed back to her in the darkness, and she started to cry again. She was still crying when the door to the study opened. Charlie peered into the near darkness. “Gary?”

“Charlie, is that you?”

“Oh, uh, hey, Kat.”

“Can we talk?” She stood up and noticed that Colette was standing with him in the doorway. “If you don’t want to...”

Colette whispered something in Charlie’s ear. “Okay,” he said to Colette, then turned back to Kat. “No. I think we should.” Colette disappeared from the door, and Charlie walked slowly into the room through the darkness. He came over and sat in an easy chair, and turned a small desk lamp on. Her makeup had run again, and she was a bit of a mess.

“Look, Kat...” He gave her some tissues out of his pocket, and she wiped her eyes.

“No, let me talk.” She sat across from him. “I, uh, I don’t know what the hell I’ve been thinking, Charlie. You’ve been so good to me and all I’ve done is treat you like a servant or something. All the time we’ve been together, especially since the start of the school year this year, I’ve been taking you for granted, like someone I could fall back on. That was wrong, and I know it.

“But seeing you tonight, acting the way you did towards me, something terrible kicked in. I felt like I needed to get back at you somehow. All this time that I’ve been going around with other guys, it was always guys you didn’t know. That way I figured you wouldn’t be pissed at me if you caught me. That was foolish of me, too. I realize that now. I was just thinking about myself all that time.

“But for me to get Bill involved in all of this, that was terrible of me. I was just taking advantage of the attraction that I’ve always know he had for me. The way he looked at me tonight, I felt so right. I never got that from you, because I never gave you the chance to feel that way. I realize that now. I’ve been such a fool, Charlie.” She started to cry again.

“Look, Kat. Everything’s okay. I’m sorry it all came to this.”

“But it’s not okay. I’ve treated you so terribly, and when you said that you were going to go out for the draft, something just snapped inside of me. I had this crazy idea that we were going to be together forever, you know. I’d planned it all out. College, you getting drafted, getting a big house, having kids.”

“Well, I...”

“I know, it was stupid of me.”

“No. I thought about that a few times too. But we’re just kids, you know? What do we really know?”

“I guess. But at the same time as I wanted all of that, I wanted to be wild, you know? I’m not as smart as Kim, and people look at the hair and the boobs and they just think I’m some dumb cheerleader. And they’re right, you know? So I felt like I needed to be a little outrageous, so people wouldn’t think bad about me.”

“Kat, no one thinks bad things about you. Not even me. Hell, you’re probably just as popular as I am, even if we’re not together.”

“You hate me. I know you do.”

“No, why would I hate you?”

“Because I treated you like shit and made your life miserable. Can you forgive me?”

Charlie moved over to the couch next to her and put his arm around her shoulders. “Of course I forgive you. But you and me, we’re over. I still have some feelings for you, but I think maybe the best thing for the two of us is to let this go.”

“Oh, Charlie. I guess I understand. I had some half-assed idea that I could get you back. Obviously, I was wrong about that.” She took a deep breath. If she was going to ask the question, it had better be now. “You’re with her, now?”

“Yeah. Colette and I should have been together a while now. I think we both knew that.” He leaned back on the couch. “Look, we’re still friends, okay. I know that isn’t what you want, but we’ve been through a lot together, and I’m not a complete asshole.”

“I appreciate that, Charlie. And I’m sorry that I made a complete and utter disaster out of the party for you.”

He stood up. “Hey, listen, you didn’t mess anything up. It’s a party. Crazy things are bound to happen. Look at what happened to Bill tonight.”

“Oh, god, Bill. He must really hate me.”

“Why don’t you go and talk to him? I’m sure he’ll be okay with it. He could use a friend right about now.”

“Thanks, Charlie.” She got up and hugged him. As he pulled away, she turned and kissed him one last time. She was glad that he didn’t turn away, but it didn’t feel the same anyway. “I really am sorry about everything. You deserve to be happy with Colette.”

They broke apart slowly. Charlie smiled at her, and then he was gone. Her heart ached, but she understood that it wasn’t meant to be. She sat back down on the couch for a while, then she decided that she should go and find Bill.


Doug yawned and rolled over. Kim was snoring away next to him, and he smiled. This had been the thing that he was looking forward to as much as playing for the crowd. They’d had sex before this, but it had been rushed, secretive, an act to be completed with swiftness so as not to disturb parents below or above. Not that that was necessarily bad. Sneaking about, there was a certain raw animality about it. But their lovemaking tonight had been relaxed and almost maddening in its pace. They’d spent a lot of time exploring each other’s bodies, finding more out about each other in a few hours than they’d found out in three years together. He’d craved the intimacy that they hadn’t had yet, and now he was sated, and feeling pretty good.

He sat up in bed, feeling the need for a cigarette. He wondered if anyone were awake downstairs. He got out of bed and pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, then went to find his smokes. He assumed he’d left them down in his guitar case, so he pulled the cover up over Kim, then walked out of the bedroom. He slowly made his way downstairs, stepping over kids sleeping in the hallway. When he got down to the foyer, he noticed that the snow had stopped, and the sun was trying to poke through the low clouds on the horizon. A few people were still awake, or maybe awake again. He walked into the great room, and was surprised to see Bill there, sitting on the lip of the stage and playing his bass softly.

“Hey, man,” he said as he walked up, “what’s up?”

Bill stopped playing. He hadn’t noticed Doug come walking up. “I’ll go, man. Just let me take my bass.”

“No. You don’t have to go.” He walked over to the side of the stage and picked up his guitar case, which was covered in stickers from local bands. He opened it and rummaged around until he found a pack of Marlboro Lights and his lighter, then closed the case. He sat down next to Bill. “You’re not going to freak out again, are you?”

“No, Doug. We’re cool.” Bill picked out a few chords on his bass. “I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry I screwed up your show. I was just...”

“I know, man. You were having a good time. There’s no law against that.”

“I know. I just couldn’t help it. Between the pot and Kat taking advantage of me, I totally lost control of myself.”

“It’s okay. But you gotta understand something.” Doug got up and stood in front of Bill. “I’m not playing for fun anymore. Last night’s show was the last time we fuck around any more. I hired Kevin for a reason, and it wasn’t just to back me up when I’m singing. He’s a professional, and that’s what I’m looking for.”

“I can be that way.”

“I’m sorry, Bill, but I don’t think you can. If that tape gets into the hands of someone who wants me, I need to know that I can count on you. And I don’t really think I can.”

“That’s pretty harsh, man.”

“Look. You and I, we’re friends. But someone needs to slap you in the head. You’re a talented musician, and you’ve got a gift that someone can use. But if you don’t believe in my material, then I don’t need you. There are a bunch of bands out there that could use you, though.”

“I guess so, Doug.” He stood up, and Doug noticed how big the lump on his head was. “I just figured that we could work things out, you know.”

“I’m sorry, Bill, but it has to be this way. We’ve had a good run, you know. A lot of good shows together. But I need to make this change, if I’m going to get to that next level. Kevin can help me get there.”

“Get where?” Kevin was leaning on the doorframe, watching the two of them.

“Hey, Kev. I was just explaining how things are to Bill.”

Bill looked over at Kevin. He had a bandage on his nose, and a ugly bruise on his cheek. “Kevin, listen, I’m sorry, man. I feel like an asshole.”

Kevin walked over to them. “Don’t worry about it. I’d probably react about the same if I’d gotten booted out of The Pull-Tabs.” He walked over and examined his guitar. It didn’t look broken. He picked it up and strummed a few chords. “Cool. I thought I’d fallen on this.”

Doug took a drag on his cigarette. “Look, Bill. If you still want to play with us today, you can. But this is it, you know. There’s no turning back now.”

“I guess I knew that all along. I always figured we’d be kicking around the circuit forever.”

“I can’t go on like that. I need to do something else. This tape,” he patted his pocket, “is the key to that. I’ve already heard from Andrew Proctor...”

“That hack? He probably just wants to take your songs and give them to that Tim Hammer kid. He’s even more of a pussy then the New Kids.”

“Well, he’s interested. As far as I’m concerned, it’s a foot in the door. Kevin and I are planning to spend some time down in Manhattan this summer trying to get a better shot. Proctor said he was interested once I got out of school.”

Bill was surprised. He hadn’t expected any of this. He figured Doug would shop around the tape, nothing would happen, and they’d be back playing The Moon and Tuxedo Junction and The Sting just like every other year. He stuck his hand out. “Well, good luck to you, I guess. I wouldn’t throw my lot in with that guy, but hey, more power to you.”

Doug shook his hand. He felt a lot better about everything now. “Look, I’m going to go and see if I can find some breakfast. We’re not going to play for a while. It’s too early anyway. Why don’t you go and get some rest? Both of you.” He got up and headed for the kitchen.

2.

Charlie snapped awake around three A.M. Colette stirred for a moment, then went back to sleep as he sat up in bed. Despite only having an hour or so of sleep, he felt very awake. He pulled on his robe, and walked out to the living room quietly, so as not to disturb Colette. He switched on the TV, but couldn’t find anything worth watching, so he turned it off.

For the first time in a long time, he felt good. He finally felt as though he didn’t have to prove anything to anyone. Colette didn’t care whether or not he won a state championship, or went number one in the NHL draft. She just wanted to be with him, and that was a wonderful feeling. He hadn’t felt this good since, well, since his mom had still been alive. All these years later, he still missed her every day. She would have liked Colette, he thought. She liked the Masters girls, though that was in the days before he was dating Kat. Back then he still thought that girls were a distraction. He sat in the dark for a few minutes, remembering the old days. Then he decided that he was going to go for a swim. As he stood up, the intercom buzzer rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Charlie! Did I wake you?”

“Gary. No. I was awake.” He sat back on the couch. Gary was always so energetic, even at ten after three in the morning. “Have you even slept, as if I have to ask?”

“So?”

“So what? You want me to tell tales out of school or what?”

“Just a yes or no answer will suffice.”

“Yes.”

“Rockin’. I knew it. Listen, man, you guys coming back over anytime soon? The storm’s just about over, or so says the Weather Channel.”

Charlie ran his fingers through his hair. “Not right now. Colette’s sleeping, and I was thinking about taking a swim.”

“Okay, well, you should come back over here soon. You’ve missed quite a lot.”

“Trust me, bro, whatever I missed pales in comparison to what I got instead.”

“All right. Audra says congrats, by the way.”

“Tell her I said thank you. You should get some sleep, by the way.”

“Sleep’s for wimps. Besides, we’re on vacation this week, and the house is mine anyway. Come back soon.”

“Okay. I will.” He hung up the intercom. He decided to take the swim after all. He walked out through the slider and took off his robe. He dove naked into the pool and glided to the far wall. He kept the pool temperature warm and it felt good against his naked body as he began to swim laps across the length of the pool. As he came back across the pool, he saw Colette making her way towards him. He swam over to the wall by the door to his apartment. She bent down and kissed him.

“Come on in, the water’s great. It’s nice and warm.”

“That’s okay, Charlie. I just was wondering where you’d gotten off to.”

“Well, I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. Gary called. Apparently we’ve missed some excitement.”

“Oh yes. I didn’t have a chance to tell you.” She related the story of the fight to Charlie. He laughed as she told him about Jack’s solution to the problem of berserk Bill. He’d have to remember that one for the “Champions” campaign.

“That’s insane. I hope everything’s okay.”

“Well, when Bill wakes up, he’s going to have a heck of a headache.”

“I guess so. Sure you don’t want to come in?”

“No one else will come out here?”

“No. Just you and me.”

“Okay, I guess.” She took off her robe, and dove into the pool naked also. She was a good swimmer, and they splashed around and played like a couple of kids for half an hour or so. Before long though, they were kissing again, and then Charlie was pulling her towards him, and they were making love as though they’d been doing it a thousand times instead of two. Soon after they got out, they were making their way through the dying moonlight back to the main house. Charlie stopped in the middle of the path and looked up. He loved to look at the skies, particularly in the winter months when the air was crisp.

“What are you looking for?”

“Oh, nothing. It’s just nice that the stars are out after all this terrible weather. I’ve always been fascinated by the night sky. I think it’s because we’re away from New Haven. You can see a lot more on a good dark night.”

“I didn’t know that you were into astronomy.”

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

“I could say the same for you.” He picked up some snow and made a snowball, then chucked it at her.

“Only one thing matters right now,” she said, “and that’s that I love you, Charlie Ferris. Nothing else in the world could possibly be important to me.”

He took her arm and together they continued on their way to the house.


Bill was sitting in the kitchen holding a ice bag on his forehead when the door opened and Charlie and Colette stepped through it. Instinctively he shifted back, expecting Charlie to come at him. As Charlie took off his jacket, he noticed Bill for the first time.

“Hey, Big Bill. What’s up?”

“Uh, nothing. Listen, I want to talk to you.”

“Can I assume that the ice pack is hiding the damage that Jack did to you?”

“You heard about that already, huh?”

“Yeah. Colette told me what happened.” Charlie came over and sat down at the counter opposite Bill. He noticed the pot of coffee and poured himself a cup, then offered to refill Bill’s.

“No, I’m good. Hey, look. I feel really terrible about everything that’s happened this evening.” Bill watched as Charlie dumped about four spoons’ worth of sugar into his coffee. “I don’t expect you to believe me when I say that I got rooked by Kat.”

“Actually, Bill, I wouldn’t be surprised if you had. Honestly, all this nonsense has turned out to be a good thing for me, so I’m not pissed at you. I probably never really was, except for the initial shock of finding the two of you together.” He looked at Bill. “Dude, you’ve really had a hell of a night tonight, or so it would seem. The last thing you need is any more abuse. You won’t get it from me.”

“Thanks, man. I appreciate that. So we’re cool?”

“Yeah, we’re cool. Just don’t get any ideas about Colette.” They laughed together. Bill felt good, the best he’d felt all night. Charlie got up from the counter, carrying his cup of coffee. “Let’s go find the caffeine twins, Colette.”

They left the room, and Bill sipped the coffee in front of him. He was relieved that Charlie wasn’t pissed at him also. Now he had to try and salvage his relationship with Doug. He didn’t think there was much hope in that. He’d really tried to get into the new music, but he just felt like it was wrong, somehow. That it wasn’t him, and more importantly, that it wasn’t Doug. Ah, shit, kid, you don’t know what he wants anyway, he thought as he sat and looked out the window. I don’t think HE knows what he wants.

Part 3. Aftermath

1.

Bill moaned and opened his eyes. Slowly, the world swam into focus. He tried to sit up, and was rewarded for his efforts with a shooting pain right behind his eyes. He put a hand up to his head, and was surprised to feel a nice fat egg on his forehead. He managed to sit up, and looked around. He was in a strange bedroom, probably one of the guest rooms on the second floor. But how had he gotten here. He shook his head and tried to remember the last thing that happened.

Oh yeah, he’d been fighting with Kevin when Gary and Doug got involved. He felt like an ass for blowing up at Doug like he had. But how had he gotten the lump? He couldn’t remember. He got up unsteadily, and noticed the bathroom off to the left. He suddenly felt woozy, and he got into the bathroom as quickly as he could, just in time to vomit a spectacular amount of liquid up and into the toilet.

He sat next to the toilet for a few minutes, head on the cool porcelain of the tub. He’d been sick before, but never like this. He wondered if he had a concussion. And what had happened to Kat? The last thing he’d seen of her, she was doing the weeping and gnashing of teeth thing, trying to get Charlie to forgive her. He slowly got up again and flushed the toilet. He rinsed his mouth out and looked at his face in the mirror.

Maybe Doug’s right. Maybe I am losing it. What a night. This was supposed to have been one of the greatest nights of his teenage existence, and what a wreck it had turned out to be. He walked over to the door and turned the knob. Nothing. He turned the knob again, then knocked on the door.

“Anyone out there?” He knocked again, then remembered the intercom system. He walked over and picked up the phone by the bedside, then pushed the button for the living room. The phone buzzed a few times, then someone picked it up.

“Bill? That you?”

“Audra? What’s going on? Why am I locked in this bedroom?”

“You calm now?”

“Yeah, I feel like a big asshole, and I’ve got an egg on my forehead the size of my fist. Someone want to come and let me out?”

“I’ll ask Gary.” She hung up the phone. Christ, what the hell did I do out there? A few minutes passed, and then he heard the click of the lock. The door opened, and Gary stepped into the room. He closed the door behind him.

“Jesus, you weren’t kidding.” He looked at the lump on Bill’s forehead. “How do you feel? Sick to your stomach? Dizzy?”

“I did,” said Bill, “but I’m feeling a lot better now.”

“Well, that’s good. You’ve probably got a mild concussion, but I wouldn’t worry about it. Listen, I’m sorry I had to lock you up here.”

“What did I do? Did I hurt someone?” He tried to think of what had happened after Doug and Gary came towards him, but it was a blur.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” Gary eyed him warily. The last thing he needed was for Bill to flip out again while they were up here alone. He hadn’t been able to find Doug, though he didn’t really want to bother him anyway. The party had slowed to a quiet hush as the night had worn on, and a lot of people were sleeping or quietly enjoying themselves.

“Uh, well, I had a stupid argument with Doug, and I’m apparently no longer in Cerebus. Then I just flipped out and went after Kevin. I feel really terrible about that. The last thing I remember clearly is turning around to see you and Doug coming at me in some kind of half-assed football tackle attack.”

“Well, you did a pretty good number on Kevin’s nose and mouth. Plus you dropped Doug off the stage.”

“How’d I get this lump?”

“Promise you won’t be mad?”

“Gary. I feel like a complete and utter tool. I’m not going to be mad.”

“Jack heard the commotion and came to our rescue. He, well, he hit you over the head with one of the pool sticks from the game room. Hard. You dropped like a sack of potatoes.”

“Jesus. Dude, I am so sorry. I totally ruined your party.” Bill sat back down on the bed, and covered his face with his hands. He took a deep breath.

“Hardly. Every good party has to have a fight of some kind. Me and Audra just figured it was going to be you and Charlie going at it, though.”

“Oh, man, Charlie. I owe him a huge apology too. I let Kat use me because I’m a stupid jackass.” He felt about two inches tall.

“I wouldn’t worry about Charlie. What you did was probably the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” Gary slapped him on the back. “Look, why don’t you come downstairs and I’ll make you some coffee, then I’ll have Audra look at that lump. We’re cool, okay? Chalk it up to youthful indiscretion.”

“Oh, man. Everyone must think I’m some kind of dick.”

“Dude, chill. It’s a party. Things like this are supposed to happen.” Gary walked out of the room. Bill looked over, and noticed that his gear bag was sitting on the floor next to him. He pulled out a fresh shirt, then freshened up his deodorant. He got up and headed out the door.


Jack sat cross-legged on the floor in the next room down the hall from Bill’s. Keiko was dozing in the bed, but he hadn’t been able to sleep. Like Bill, he felt bad that things had gone as far as they had, but he was just trying to help his friends out. He was trying to meditate, but it was no use. He looked at Keiko, sleeping above the covers in a bathrobe and socks, and he felt a pang of lust. They’d already done it twice, and he wouldn’t mind a third go-around, but he needed to clear his mind first. He got up from the floor, and was headed to the bathroom, when she stirred.

“Jack? Come back to bed, huh? It’s late and I want you next to me.”

He walked back over to the bed and lay down next to her. But neither sleep nor inner peace came to him as he lay in the bed. All he kept seeing was the pool cue breaking over Bill’s head. This wasn’t what he’d spent all that time training for. What had come over him? He wasn’t some kind of barroom brawler, using whatever came to hand. He was a practicing martial artist. He was supposed to have discipline. But when he saw his friends in trouble, he hadn’t been able to help himself.

Maybe when I wake up, I’ll make things up with Bill, he thought as he dozed off.


Kim and Doug sat on the floor in the game room playing a game of Rummy 500 that had become Rummy 2000. A bottle of wine sat next to Kim, and they were slowly drinking it and discussing the day’s events. No one else was in the game room, but they still spoke quietly.

“I don’t know what came over him, Kim. He’s never been like that.” Doug and Bill had been in a few pitched battles in their time, but he’d never seen Bill lose his cool so completely as he had tonight.

“He’s had a rough night from all accounts, not that that excuses him. But, how would you feel if you got fired from your band, got caught screwing your friend’s girl, and got knocked out?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He picked up a card, looked at it, then dropped it onto the pile. “Jack really cracked the hell out of him.”

“Oh yeah.”

“What about Kat?”

“Oh, you know Kat. It’s always about her, about her needs, about her drama. Frankly, I hope Charlie’s out there with Colette. It serves her right.”

“That’s pretty harsh, don’t you think?”

“Look, she brought it on herself. Picking a fight with Charlie, luring Bill out to the boathouse. I asked her what she expected was going to happen.”

“Cheerleader Barbie strikes again.”

“You’re not kidding. Gary and Audra are having a field day with this. You know that they’ve been trying to get Charlie interested in Colette for a while now.”

“I had an idea, but I wasn’t sure. I just hope he doesn’t decide to come in and use Bill for a punching bag.”

“Listen. Don’t you worry about that. What you need to worry about is getting that tape shopped around to the labels in New York. It’s good.”

He hadn’t told her that Andrew Proctor had called him. “I’m doing what I can. The problem is that up here in New Haven, I’m not getting seen. I can only open for Miracle Legion so many times before it gets old.”

“Well, when you graduate, you’ll have the summer to go and try to get your foot in the door.” She picked up a card, and then put all her cards down. “I’m out.”

“Shit. Let’s see, uh... twenty-eight points. You win. I’m a beaten man.”

She picked up the cards and began to shuffle them. “Look, Doug, I know we’re not going to be together next year. You can be honest with me.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen, Kim. I’m not going to Penn or Princeton, that’s for sure. I might get into NYU, I’m not sure. I’m willing to stick it out if you are. I don’t mind riding buses or trains.”

“I guess. I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, but we’ll see. We’ve got the summer, anyway, right?”

“Yup. We’ll be gigging a lot, but you’ll get whatever time I have left over.” He smiled at her. Provided I don’t get signed, that is. “Why don’t we go upstairs? I’m feeling a little frisky.”

“Why not? Nothing much going on now anyway, right?” Kim followed Doug out the door and they went up the front stairwell to the second floor bedroom that Gary’d marked out for him. There was no one in it, and they went in and closed the door, having just missed Bill, who’d headed down the back stairwell to the kitchen.

Interlude - 2004

The tour bus pulled off of the highway onto the Route 34 connector. Doug Harris looked out at the shell of the New Haven Coliseum as they passed by. He’d gone to so many shows there, hell, he’d played hockey there. Now it was empty. He wondered if the Chapel Square Mall was still open as the bus merged onto Legion Avenue, headed for Westville.

The ride around Long Island had taken longer than expected, as they’d hit traffic in Stamford and again in Bridgeport. As a result, the afternoon shadows were just beginning to grow as the bus turned onto Yale Avenue by the Bowl and headed towards its final destination, Doug’s mother’s house. Doug was hit with another wave of nostalgia as they passed the Yale Bowl. He’d been a regular at Yale football games when he was a kid. He and his friends would climb over the back of the stands and wrestle around on the grass that grew over the skeleton of the field until the ushers came to try and chase them off. They just laughed and ran off to another part of the Bowl.

Kevin was asleep in a bunk towards the back, iPod strapped to his ears. Doug walked back and nudged him.

“Wha... Oh, hey man, what’s up?” Kevin yawned and stretched.

“We’re home.”

“Home’s L.A. man. We’re in purgatory.” Like Doug, Kevin hadn’t ventured back to New Haven in a long time. He’d bought an old home in Laurel Canyon that previously was owned by one of the Eagles, and he liked the West Coast lifestyle. He was only going to stay for the festivities, then it would be back to L.A. except for occasional visits to Bernadette.

“Hey, this is still our home, even if we’ve abandoned it for better things.” Doug reached up into the bulkhead over Kevin’s bunk and pulled out his travel bag. He then walked back and knocked on the rear cabin door.

“Bernadette?”

“Just a second.” He waited and then the door opened. Bernadette Adams, who was Doug’s backup singer and Kevin’s current flame, had been sleeping in what was normally Doug’s bunk. She walked back in and sat down on the small bunk as he stood in the doorway. “What’s up?”

“We’re here. So, when’s your first class?”

“Not for a couple of weeks. My parents are going to fly in and spend a couple of days with us.” Bernadette was going to be attending Yale in the fall.

“That’s cool. Tell them I said hello. I may not get a chance to see them.”

“Okay.” She already had an apartment set up in New Haven, courtesy of Doug’s management. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Yeah. I’ll call you when I know what’s happening with the new record. But I want you to hit those books. Don’t be like me.” He then went back to his seat. Instinctively he looked over as they passed the Masters’. Did he see a curtain twitch, just like all those years ago? Ah, you’re just seeing things, he thought.

The bus pulled up in front of 320 Yale Avenue and stopped. The bus driver shut the engine off and got out to open the compartments below. Doug stretched, then grabbed his travel bag. He walked down to the front of the bus and was hit with a blast of humid August air as he got to the door. Laura O’Donnell was standing on the sidewalk.

“So, the prodigal son returns.”

“Hi, Mom.” He climbed down the steps and walked over to her. He hugged her and kissed her on the cheek.

“Well, it’s still here.” She gestured at the house. “Not that you’ve been here in a long time.”

“Come on, Mom. Let’s not do this now. Where’s Uncle John?” He looked around. The lawn was still neatly manicured, and the house looked like it had been recently painted.

“He’s at work. He’ll be home soon.” She smiled at him. “Oh, I can’t be mad at you. It’s good to have you home, Doug.” She hugged him as Kevin stepped off the bus behind him.

“And Kevin, look at you. Doesn’t my son pay you enough so you can eat?”

“Hi, Missus O’D.”

“Please, you know you can call me Laura. How’ve you been, Kevin?”

“Oh, you know. Getting dragged all over civilization by the kid here’s fun, but it gets tiring.”

“Well, there’s a room in the house all made up for you. It’ll be nice to have people in the house. And this must be the famous Bernadette. Aren’t you a lovely little thing?”

Bernadette flushed. “Hi, ma’am. Nice to meet you.”

“Please. It’s Laura. Ma’am, that was my mother. So, you’re going to Yale, I hear? Well good luck.” Doug, who was now standing behind his mother, rolled his eyes comically. Bernadette stifled a laugh.

“Doug, dear, it’s so nice to have you home. I was just telling Carol Masters that the other day after you called.”

“How’s Carol? She still...”

“No, she’s not mad at you anymore. No one ever really was.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“Oh, Doug. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. That was a long time ago. Come on, let’s go inside. It’s too hot out here.” They went into the house. He went down the stairs to his basement lair, which was still as he’d left it fifteen years before. He dropped his bag onto the bed and sat down next to it. He could hear his mom upstairs giving Kevin the third degree. He smiled, and then his gaze fell upon a picture in a frame next to his pillow. He looked at it, and sighed. This was going to be a very strange couple of days.


The next morning, he awoke early. His knee twinged as he slowly eased out of the bed. He looked up at the stairs, and ruefully thought that he should have had his mom pull out the hide-a-bed instead. He walked over and sat down at the desk. He picked up an old notebook that was sitting there and opened it. He smiled as he looked at some old and terrible attempts to write that first song, the one that had pushed him out of the clubs and into the bedrooms of teenage girls around the country.

He was just about to attempt to climb the stairs to the first floor when his cell phone rang.

“Your dime.”

“Do you always answer the phone that way?” Gary Ablett was on the other end of the line, and he sounded way too cheery for this early in the day.

“Yeah. What’s up, bro?”

“Nothing. Just checking to see if you got in okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just dreading trying to climb the stairs to the first floor.”

“Oh. Sorry, man. Look, everyone else is here now. Jack got in late last night, and Charlie’s sleeping in a guest bedroom in the main house. And uh, you know Bill works for me.”

“Yeah. I knew that.” He picked up his cane from the floor. “Hey, uh, have you seen Kim lately?”

“Almost every week. She does my books at 24 Frames.”

Doug grimaced. Maybe he had seen the curtain twitch after all. “She aware of all of this?”

“Tough for her not to be. She’s in the wedding too, you know.”

Oh, shit. “Greaaaaat. That’s the last thing I wanted to hear. Darrell neglected to mention that.”

“I figured as much when he told me you were still going to be coming.”

Doug stood up, and tried to flex his knee. He grabbed his travel bag and rummaged around. He pulled out his cigarettes and a bottle of pills. “Listen, can I call you back in a little while? I’ve got to try to get up these stairs.”

“Yeah, man. Why don’t you come by the store?”

“Okay. Whitney Avenue in Spring Glen, right?” He hung up the phone, and slowly climbed the stairs. As he got to the top of the stairs, he noticed an envelope sitting on the top step. It had his name on it in plain script. He thought he recognized the handwriting. He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table, then wiped a few beads of sweat from his forehead. Might as well open this and see if it’s what I think it is.

He unfolded a sheet of cream-colored stationary. At the top were the words “Masters and Masters, CPA” and Kim’s name was down at the bottom next to her father’s. Doug read the words with a sinking feeling in his stomach.

Doug,

I know that you are coming home today. I suspect that I will even see the bus pass our house at some point during the day. As much as I want to hate you for all that has happened, I find that I can’t. I feel like I need to see you, to make you understand all the things that you took away from me, but I’m afraid that I’ll look at you and remember all the good things, like that night at Gary’s party, and the last fourteen years that I’ve spent hating you will be for naught. I tried to convince Darrell not to have you, but he insisted. It’s only fair that you’re involved anyway. And I was fine with it. Right up until I saw your picture in the supermarket on that terrible newspaper, and the old feelings came back again.

Maybe I’ll call you. Maybe we’ll see each other before the wedding.

K.

Doug put the sheet of paper down on the counter, then lit his first cigarette of the day. He wondered why Darrell hadn’t bothered to mention that Kim was in the wedding. More importantly, he wondered why he hadn’t guessed it either. Oh, well, he thought, I guess it’s time to pay the piper.

8.

The storm picked up speed again later in the evening, and before too long, the sets of footprints to and from the poolhouse were obliterated. Colette stood at the back door, debating about whether or not she should make the effort to plow her way out to the pool house. Charlie was obviously out there, as he’d been absent from the party for a good two hours now. She’d witnessed the brief pitched battle between Bill and the others, and seen Kat drowning some apparent sorrows in a bottle of wine, but Charlie hadn’t reappeared.

Audra walked over and stood next to her. “Look. It’s not that hard. I’ll give you a flashlight, and you can just bull your way over there.”

“I don’t know, Audra.” She was more worried that he was okay than anything else. He wouldn’t answer the intercom, and they were too far away to see if there were lights on. “I just don’t want to barge in on him.”

“Look, Colette. There’s no more beating around the bush. If you love him, if you might even think that you love him, this is the time to find out.” Audra hugged her. “It’s the right thing to do. Believe me.”

She smiled at Colette, then went rummaging through the kitchen drawers. Gary came in carrying a pail of empty cans and bottles. “Whatcha lookin’ for, Aud?”

“Flashlight. Colette’s going over to the pool house.”

“Oh.” He put the pail down and looked out the window. “She’ll need this, I think.” He opened a cabinet under the sink and pulled out a large spotlight. “It’s ten thousand candle power. You could land a helicopter in the back yard with this. As a matter of fact...”

She took the flashlight from him and pointed it out the door. The beam cut through the snow for about a hundred yards. “This will do.”

“Hey, be careful out there. And bring the boy back. He’s missing all the good stuff that’s going on.”

“Okay.” She stepped out the back door and switched on the flashlight. She could just about make out the impressions in the snow where the previous footprints had been as she slowly crossed the back yard. The snow and wind buffeted her as she approached the pool house. There was only one light on that she could see, but it was only a glow in the fogged-over windows of the pool area. She walked up to the door and tried the knob. It was unlocked, and she turned the handle and stepped into the humid pool area. As she pulled her parka off, she looked around. Charlie was not out here.

As she walked over to the sliding door, she could hear music playing somewhat softly through the door. She approached the door, and knocked. “Charlie? Are you okay?”

He opened the door. She was surprised to see that his eyes were red, as though he’d been crying. “Hey. Wondered when you’d come looking for me.” He stepped aside to let her walk into the apartment. In the six months she’d been living with Charlie and the Abletts, it was the first time she’d ever been past the sliding door.

“I called a few times on the intercom, but...”

“I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. I figured it was probably Kat anyway, trying to convince me that this has all been a terrible mistake.” He plopped down on the couch, then moved a stack of books so she could sit down next to him. Somewhere in the room, a stereo played softly, Todd Rundgren singing old Motown songs. “Look, I...”

“No. I have something to say to you.” She stopped for a moment. He was right there, and yet she found the words so hard. “All this time, I’ve been lying to myself.”

“Colette..”

“No, let me get this out. Ever since I came over here, you’ve acted like a perfect gentleman towards me. I couldn’t figure it out. Most of the guys at Holy Mother would give anything to get into my pants. But not you.” She smiled at him. “You always treated me like one of the guys. Like someone who you wanted around, and not just because I was pretty.”

“Well, that’s because I did want you around.”

“I know. And I watched you with her. I watched the lightness that the two of you had. And I wanted that. But I’ve been such a fool. I should have done this a long time ago.”

“Done what?”

“This.” She leaned over and kissed him lightly, gingerly on the lips. He tasted strawberries. She pulled away, and he immediately wished she hadn’t. “I love you, Charlie. I have since I laid eyes on you. I was just too afraid of what it might mean for you if I said that.” A tear ran down her cheek. He brushed it away.

“I’m sorry, Colette. I’m sorry I was too much a fool to realize.” He looked into her eyes. “I love you, too. I’ve been a fool also. I let Kat string me along for so long.”

“It’s all right, Charlie. They say everything happens for a reason, yes? Maybe this was all meant to happen.”

“You’re probably right.” He stood up. “Do you want something to drink? I only have soda and water, but it’s cold.”

“Yes, I’ll take some water.” He walked over to the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a half wall. She got up and gingerly stepped over a pile of audio and videotapes to the entertainment center. There were two framed photos side by side on a shelf above the TV. One was of a dark-haired woman of about thirty-five. She had a UConn sweatshirt on, and she sat on the front steps of a house. The other picture was of a nine or ten year old Charlie in a pee-wee hockey uniform, holding a trophy. He was cute even then, she thought. She looked over the books in the bookcase. Most were pulp novels of various genres, but she noticed a few interesting titles salted in among the trash. “On The Road”, “Naked Lunch”, and “Tropic Of Cancer” shared a shelf with a complete paperback run of the novels of Stephen King, and there was a book about coping with the death of a parent. She was about to pull that one out when he came back with her water and a can of Coke Classic.

“Like my books? Most of them are Burke’s, but I’ve added my own personal touches to his collection.”

“I was actually looking at these pictures.”

“Oh. Well, that’s me, back when we still lived in Quebec City. I was nine. I led the league in goals that year. That other one is my mom.” He sighed a little. “That photo was taken two weeks before she died.”

“I’m sorry, Charlie. Gary told me about it.”

“How much? Did he tell you how the old man was really looking for me? That my mom was just collateral damage?” He sat down hard on the couch, tears flowing. “That bastard took her away from me.”

“Oh, Charlie...”

“The worst part? Take a look in that book over there.” He pointed to a stack of photo albums next to the entertainment center. Colette walked over and picked the top one up. She opened it to the first page. A man and a woman, smiling at the camera, the woman holding a bundled-up baby. The woman was Charlie’s mother, but the man’s face staring back at her, could have been Charlie.

“Charlie...”

“Oh, it’s all some kind of cosmic joke on me, you know. The fact that I have to get up every morning and look in the mirror, and know that I might as well be his twin. That I have to look in the mirror and see the man who killed my mother.” He just stared ahead as she came over to him, sobbing. She pulled him to her and they kissed hungrily.

“Charlie, let me take the pain away.” She started to unbutton her shirt.

“Not here.” He got up and they walked hand in hand into the bedroom. He closed the door behind them. The room was clean and orderly, just the opposite of the cluttered living room. He pulled the blanket back from the bed, and they sat down. Colette smiled at him.

“I’ve waited too long for this,” she said.

“No more words,” he replied, and kissed her. In a moment they were entwined on the bed. Clothes shed, they joined as one in the gloom of the bedroom, and then nothing else mattered.